Really? A woman provoked you to rape her?
Was it her clothes? Her make-up?
Or was it something else? Something entirely different?
Hmm?
Something entirely different, methinks.
Showing posts with label Politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Politics. Show all posts
Wednesday, 15 May 2013
Monday, 21 January 2013
Hitting The Wall: Innocent or Offensive Misundestandings, and the Notion of Passive/Aggressive Self-Righteousness
In every conversation (oral but especially written), the person
talking/writing is of course responsible for what they say, but the
person listening/reading is equally responsible for what they interpret,
often even more so as they bring their own emotions and/or biases into
the dialogue once (or even before) the "message" has been expressed.
When you have "spoken" you can no longer control what happens to the words that have left your mouth/hand.
Sure, you should take extra care in forming and expressing those words in an earnest attempt to prevent any potential misunderstanding, and you should try hard to acknowledge your own preconceptions and biases that could hurt or offend others, but those efforts can only go so far. If the other person wants/expects to understand a certain "something", they will always find a way to hear/read "it", regardless of your most earnest intentions.
You can simply utter a single word "Yes" or "no" or "hi" or "good-night", and people who have certain opinions or expectations from you may instead choose to hear/read "fuck you", "I hate you", instead of the more rationally intended message. If such simple words can be so easily misconstrued against your intentions, imagine what harm may be done in more complicated exchanges that require higher levels of intellectual analysis and emotional interpretation. If you then factor in any/all added cultural, gender, age, social (etc.) differences, the ensuing mayhem could prove to be mind-boggling.
Once again, you may well be in the wrong as it may have been a poor (or hasty) choice of words (or lack thereof), a stressful moment or simply a bad mood on your part that has caused the original tension. If that happens, you must be quick to address it and try to rectify it with a sincere apology and a further explanation of your intended message. We are all humans and we all make mistakes. Nobody's perfect after all, but a bad decision or an unfortunate moment doesn't automatically turn someone into a "villain".
However, those who choose to be offended or hurt by your words even AFTER your apology or explanations have been repeatedly offered, they can still choose to do so despite your previous clean track record and your proven well-intended nature. They may or may not realise they are doing it, but once that twisted interpretation has occurred, insisting on your efforts to clear the air will most probably be fruitless, as the other person has already made up their mind about what it is you meant/insinuated, despite all objective and rational evidence to the contrary. As a result, more often than not they will try to escalate things and make a mountain out of a molehill.
I still don't understand why this occurs. Yes, it's true that all people like to be right, and it may be difficult to take the time and TRULY analyse your thoughts and actions and/or try and rectify the situation but it IS possible, and any loss of dignity is small a price to pay in order to preserve an amorous relationship, a professional collaboration or a friendship at stake. If anything, there is MORE dignity in admitting you're wrong and apologising than stubbornly sticking to your "guns" against all rationality and objectivity, in my humble opinion.
Yet, some people never admit it when they're wrong and are too scared to concede and apologise once they take the wrong turn, almost as if their life depended on preserving their self-righteousness. What usually follows is a warped, passive/aggressive behaviour that informs their every contact with you, transforming every casual exchange into a sickening "battle" that knows no limits and often finds no end.
When that happens and after you have already tried your very best to make the other party understand you're not really an elephant, you may find yourself constantly hitting your head against a wall made out of their stubborn determination to refuse your appeasing explanations.
This is when it is often smart to withdraw and move on
There are more constructive things you can do with your head than expecting to break down a wall. Walls don't usually come down despite all the head-butting in the world.
Don't worry so much about this withdrawal, you will always find other people more conducive to a loving relationship, to some complementing flirtation, to a professional collaboration, to a humorous exchange, or to some simple friendly bunter than a wall ever will be.
Not to mention all the headache you will be spared.
When you have "spoken" you can no longer control what happens to the words that have left your mouth/hand.
Sure, you should take extra care in forming and expressing those words in an earnest attempt to prevent any potential misunderstanding, and you should try hard to acknowledge your own preconceptions and biases that could hurt or offend others, but those efforts can only go so far. If the other person wants/expects to understand a certain "something", they will always find a way to hear/read "it", regardless of your most earnest intentions.
You can simply utter a single word "Yes" or "no" or "hi" or "good-night", and people who have certain opinions or expectations from you may instead choose to hear/read "fuck you", "I hate you", instead of the more rationally intended message. If such simple words can be so easily misconstrued against your intentions, imagine what harm may be done in more complicated exchanges that require higher levels of intellectual analysis and emotional interpretation. If you then factor in any/all added cultural, gender, age, social (etc.) differences, the ensuing mayhem could prove to be mind-boggling.
Once again, you may well be in the wrong as it may have been a poor (or hasty) choice of words (or lack thereof), a stressful moment or simply a bad mood on your part that has caused the original tension. If that happens, you must be quick to address it and try to rectify it with a sincere apology and a further explanation of your intended message. We are all humans and we all make mistakes. Nobody's perfect after all, but a bad decision or an unfortunate moment doesn't automatically turn someone into a "villain".
However, those who choose to be offended or hurt by your words even AFTER your apology or explanations have been repeatedly offered, they can still choose to do so despite your previous clean track record and your proven well-intended nature. They may or may not realise they are doing it, but once that twisted interpretation has occurred, insisting on your efforts to clear the air will most probably be fruitless, as the other person has already made up their mind about what it is you meant/insinuated, despite all objective and rational evidence to the contrary. As a result, more often than not they will try to escalate things and make a mountain out of a molehill.
I still don't understand why this occurs. Yes, it's true that all people like to be right, and it may be difficult to take the time and TRULY analyse your thoughts and actions and/or try and rectify the situation but it IS possible, and any loss of dignity is small a price to pay in order to preserve an amorous relationship, a professional collaboration or a friendship at stake. If anything, there is MORE dignity in admitting you're wrong and apologising than stubbornly sticking to your "guns" against all rationality and objectivity, in my humble opinion.
Yet, some people never admit it when they're wrong and are too scared to concede and apologise once they take the wrong turn, almost as if their life depended on preserving their self-righteousness. What usually follows is a warped, passive/aggressive behaviour that informs their every contact with you, transforming every casual exchange into a sickening "battle" that knows no limits and often finds no end.
When that happens and after you have already tried your very best to make the other party understand you're not really an elephant, you may find yourself constantly hitting your head against a wall made out of their stubborn determination to refuse your appeasing explanations.
This is when it is often smart to withdraw and move on
There are more constructive things you can do with your head than expecting to break down a wall. Walls don't usually come down despite all the head-butting in the world.
Don't worry so much about this withdrawal, you will always find other people more conducive to a loving relationship, to some complementing flirtation, to a professional collaboration, to a humorous exchange, or to some simple friendly bunter than a wall ever will be.
Not to mention all the headache you will be spared.
Wednesday, 31 October 2012
Friday, 10 August 2012
London Times Obituary
"Today we mourn
the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us
for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth
records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be
remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
(don't spend more than you can earn)
and reliable strategies
(adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone."
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
(don't spend more than you can earn)
and reliable strategies
(adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone."
Saturday, 10 March 2012
To KONY or NOT to KONY?
http://www.youtube.com/
Another MUST SEE for a different perspective!
http://i.imgur.com/
Wednesday, 7 March 2012
Stop Kony 2012
http://vimeo.com/37119711
KONY 2012 is a film and campaign by Invisible Children (www.invisiblechildren.com) that aims to make Joseph Kony famous, not to celebrate him, but to raise support for his arrest and set a precedent for international justice.
Since 1987, Joseph Kony has abducted more than 30,000 children in Central Africa and forced them to be child soldiers in his Lord’s Resistance Army. The KONY 2012 campaign employs film, social media, street art, and face-to-face interaction to make the case that the arrest of Joseph Kony this year is one thing we can all agree on.
Tuesday, 20 December 2011
Saturday, 3 December 2011
Tuesday, 8 November 2011
The Other
I am always surprised/amazed at the human race's capacity for segregation and fear towards the "Other", be it race, sex, gender, religion, education, mental or physical ability etc.
After thousands of years of a evolution, as a species we have managed to figure out infinitely more ways to differentiate between ourselves, than to unite.
Thankfully, every now and then, I meet someone who reminds me that not ALL humans are like that, some of us are ever-ready and open to embrace "Others" and accept them into our lives as friends, lovers, partners and/or family.
And when I do meet someone like that, I start to feel less "alone"... *soft smile*
After thousands of years of a evolution, as a species we have managed to figure out infinitely more ways to differentiate between ourselves, than to unite.
Thankfully, every now and then, I meet someone who reminds me that not ALL humans are like that, some of us are ever-ready and open to embrace "Others" and accept them into our lives as friends, lovers, partners and/or family.
And when I do meet someone like that, I start to feel less "alone"... *soft smile*
Monday, 10 October 2011
A Global Shift Is Happening
Enough is enough.
The entire consciousness of humanity is radically shifting all around us.
What is currently happening on the planet has never happened before (as far as "we" can "remember") and people don't know what to make of it.
The planet will continue with or without us. It is up to us to gratefully (and gracefully) ride on this train of change, or to simply be left behind and suffer the consequences of "mental/emotional/physical" extinction.
There is only one ticket valid for this "train ride", and that ticket is LOVE.
Deal with it. Accept it. Embrace it. Or simply wither away. It's your choice.
We will NOT stay behind, no matter how hard you try to scare u.
♥
The entire consciousness of humanity is radically shifting all around us.
What is currently happening on the planet has never happened before (as far as "we" can "remember") and people don't know what to make of it.
The planet will continue with or without us. It is up to us to gratefully (and gracefully) ride on this train of change, or to simply be left behind and suffer the consequences of "mental/emotional/physical" extinction.
There is only one ticket valid for this "train ride", and that ticket is LOVE.
Deal with it. Accept it. Embrace it. Or simply wither away. It's your choice.
We will NOT stay behind, no matter how hard you try to scare u.
♥
Saturday, 8 October 2011
Sunday, 31 July 2011
Sunday, 26 June 2011
No Human Trafficking & Modern Day Slavery
Anti-Human Trafficking Installation @ the June 2011 Athens Fringe Festival.
If a picture is worth a 1000 words, here's 44,000 words for ya.
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