The Friend Vanishes

There are people in our lives who vanish as soon as they enter a relationship. Not talking about those who spend a considerable amount of time, and even make you a part of their new lifestyle with the new partner, I am talking about those who simply disappear from your life, without a warning.

Everything (for that 1st group) becomes "my boyfriend this, my girlfriend that" and they remember you only when they fight or separate with their partners. It doesn't matter if they've met these people a month or two ago and you've been their close friends for years, they will STILL give priority to this new fling, regardless of the potential or hope for something long term or lack thereof.

I have no problem with the second category, those who invite their partners into their life (that means including their friends) and their friends themselves into the new partner-lifestyle. I enjoy their happiness, I cheer them on, I participate in their joy, and gladly stand by them in times of woe, if that happens. I can connect with their boyfriend or girlfriend and consider them too as friends in the making. Such a pleasure to do so, effortlessly and without second thought.

It's the 1st category of people I have no more tolerance for. The "disappearing" ones. The ones who decide to be your friend ONLY when it suits them, only when their partner is away on business or simply unavailable. The ones who lose themselves in the process of "trying out a new love", and manage to lose their friends while doing so. I can no longer stomach those who prioritize a recent love interest over an old friendship and those who treat me as a shoulder to cry on, but never a shoulder to be happy on. That group of people, those particular energy-vultures are weeded out pretty fast these days, and are no longer a significant part of my life. And that makes me a lot happier and calmer.

I Guess I Am A Serial Killer

Rapist is not a natural state - Imgur

Really? A woman provoked you to rape her? 

Was it her clothes? Her make-up? 

Or was it something else? Something entirely different? 

Hmm?

Something entirely different, methinks.

 

Wassily Kandinsky

When I was 17, Christina told me, my psyche is like a painting by Wassily Kandinsky

I have never forgotten that. She always told me the most beautiful lies.

Alphabet

I just remembered the first time I started learning the letters of the alphabet. They looked like strange & funny little shapes to me. 

It was such fun to draw them over and over again, until at some point I could draw them by heart. 

They didn't really mean anything to me at the time, but still, there was a strange calmness that was overcoming me while I was learning how to draw them on paper using colourful crayons and pencils.

That is such an old and almost forgotten memory...

Weird how our brain works and stores random stuff, only to bring them up again at some equally random point in the future.

Memories

We all come to this world alone,
and that's how we leave. Alone.
We bring our life into this dimension,
and we leave it, only with our memories.

Starry Night of Vincent Van Gogh - Interactive Αnimation by Petros Vrellis

Hitting The Wall: Innocent or Offensive Misundestandings, and the Notion of Passive/Aggressive Self-Righteousness

In every conversation (oral but especially written), the person talking/writing is of course responsible for what they say, but the person listening/reading is equally responsible for what they interpret, often even more so as they bring their own emotions and/or biases into the dialogue once (or even before) the "message" has been expressed.

When you have "spoken" you can no longer control what happens to the words that have left your mouth/hand.

Sure, you should take extra care in forming and expressing those words in an earnest attempt to prevent any potential misunderstanding, and you should try hard to acknowledge your own preconceptions and biases that could hurt or offend others, but those efforts can only go so far. If the other person wants/expects to understand a certain "something", they will always find a way to hear/read "it", regardless of your most earnest intentions.

You can simply utter a single word "Yes" or "no" or "hi" or "good-night", and people who have certain opinions or expectations from you may instead choose to hear/read "fuck you", "I hate you", instead of the more rationally intended message. If such simple words can be so easily misconstrued against your intentions, imagine what harm may be done in more complicated exchanges that require higher levels of intellectual analysis and emotional interpretation. If you then factor in any/all added cultural, gender, age, social (etc.) differences, the ensuing mayhem could prove to be mind-boggling.

Once again, you may well be in the wrong as it may have been a poor (or hasty) choice of words (or lack thereof), a stressful moment or simply a bad mood on your part that has caused the original tension. If that happens, you must be quick to address it and try to rectify it with a sincere apology and a further explanation of your intended message. We are all humans and we all make mistakes. Nobody's perfect after all, but a bad decision or an unfortunate moment doesn't automatically turn someone into a "villain".

However, those who choose to be offended or hurt by your words even AFTER your apology or explanations have been repeatedly offered, they can still choose to do so despite your previous clean track record and your proven well-intended nature. They may or may not realise they are doing it, but once that twisted interpretation has occurred, insisting on your efforts to clear the air will most probably be fruitless, as the other person has already made up their mind about what it is you meant/insinuated, despite all objective and rational evidence to the contrary. As a result, more often than not they will try to escalate things and make a mountain out of a molehill.

I still don't understand why this occurs. Yes, it's true that all people like to be right, and it may be difficult to take the time and TRULY analyse your thoughts and actions and/or try and rectify the situation but it IS possible, and any loss of dignity is small a price to pay in order to preserve an amorous relationship, a professional collaboration or a friendship at stake. If anything, there is MORE dignity in admitting you're wrong and apologising than stubbornly sticking to your "guns" against all rationality and objectivity, in my humble opinion.

Yet, some people never admit it when they're wrong and are too scared to concede and apologise once they take the wrong turn, almost as if their life depended on preserving their self-righteousness. What usually follows is a warped, passive/aggressive behaviour that informs their every contact with you, transforming every casual exchange into a sickening "battle" that knows no limits and often finds no end.

When that happens and after you have already tried your very best to make the other party understand you're not really an elephant, you may find yourself constantly hitting your head against a wall made out of their stubborn determination to refuse your appeasing explanations.

This is when it is often smart to withdraw and move on

There are more constructive things you can do with your head than expecting to break down a wall. Walls don't usually come down despite all the head-butting in the world.

Don't worry so much about this withdrawal, you will always find other people more conducive to a loving relationship, to some complementing flirtation, to a professional collaboration, to a humorous exchange,  or to some simple friendly bunter than a wall ever will be.

Not to mention all the headache you will be spared.

10 (+ 1) Observations About The Human Race During My 36 Years On This Planet

1. People are capable of the best, as well as the worst. That's their blessing, as well as their tragedy (not curse).

2. People don't usually set out to do their worst. More often than not their worst is the result of misunderstanding, poor planning, fear, pain, desperation or simply good intentions gone wrong.

3. People will choose to do good rather than evil, most of the time. Exceptions include socio-paths, psycho-paths and other serious mental disorders.

4. People are essentially good and kind. All people. Even when they're wrong or being hurtful. They just need to be reminded of their true nature.

5. People, when brought face to face with the consequences of their words or actions and they realise that they have been hurtful to someone, they will almost certainly be shocked and will try to make amends, if given a chance.

6. People will pleasantly surprise you, if you wait for them long enough. Eventually all walls come crumbling down, all frozen hearts melt.

7. People have the right to change their heart, if they want to. There is no such thing as a "wrong emotion", if one feels it in their heart. The thing that affects all living things is people's choices about how to react to their emotions.

8. People have a lot of shit going on in their life too, they don't actively try to fuck up other people's lives. Most of the time when that happens it's coincidental, accidental or due to a lack of empathy. Though empathy is usually a gift that some people naturally have, it can also be taught.

9. People who find it difficult to empathize with other people, may learn to do so through compassion. Compassion always leads to Love. Love leads to anything and everything good. Which is why people will always be capable of the very best. Only when people fail to follow these steps does their worst become possible. Fortunately, the worst is usually reversible and in time, healed by implementing the very best.

10. People's thoughts are immensely powerful, almost as powerful as Love. A single, tiny thought, may ripple throughout mankind's collective consciousness (if expressed and if allowed to do so), causing waves of goodness that reach the ends of the planet and the edges of other people's hearts. But most importantly, a single person's thoughts may affect just one other person on the planet. And if one of us is capable of that, our collective potential is limitless. So is our responsibility.That's because we are all connected to everything and everyone else.

+1. People like making lists and people like reading them. Usually.

Keep The Fuck Away From Me

It doesn't matter to me how super-talented you are,
how much of a visionary or a leader
or what a creative person you are
or a man/woman of many abilities
or how generally respectable your work is.

If you find it difficult to effortlessly relate to people;

if you never apologise for your own mistakes and never try your best to mend your behaviour accordingly;

if you have a double standard with regards to your sense of humour when it involves others (i.e. you can give it freely, always expecting people to readily accept and/or appreciate it, yet you are rarely able to take it from them without instantly getting offended);

if you consider yourself perfect and all-knowing at all times & with no exceptions and your self-righteousness permeates your entire existence;

if you consider any alternative opinion expressed in your presence to be a personal attack or a hostile/judgemental/racist/sexist act, when it truly is well intended and not imposed on you;

if you have a chip on your shoulder bigger than your entire self, so much so that you have have become trigger-happy with you aggressive reactions and your constant affinity to conflict and/or drama;

if you fail to forgive others for their own mistakes and often resist the urge to understand the reasons behind their trespasses to you, but instead you usually (and quickly) resort to sulking, holding grudges and bad-mouthing people behind their back (or even in front of them);

if you are an "energy vulture", seeking constant attention through attracting or becoming the essence of misery & drama, so that you can suck the positivity out of those around you (hoping to absorb their happiness), only to make yourself feel less worse (cause you never actually succeed in feeling better despite how you damage others in the process);

if you are fake and have countless personalities to suit (and serve) your current interests or schemes, without ever revealing your true self to others, because you consider it to be a sign of weakness or because you're simply THAT ruthless in your path towards money, glory and/or power;

if despite all of the above, one STILL tries to reach out to you repeatedly and goes out of one's way to offer friendship and understanding, only to find that you resist heavily, and you ignore such attempts time after time;

then I have ZERO INTEREST in being your friend, working with you or even associating with you on a casual level. It's probably best if we both go our own separate ways and keep our energies far apart.

I have ZERO INTEREST in your judgement or participating in your delusions of grandeur.

Please, keep to your own path and I will make sure I keep to mine. Resist the urge to pick on me or change me to fit your expectations, and I promise in return I will save you from my irritating presence.

Life on this realm is too short, and I would rather spend it all with beings of love, respect, compassion & simplicity.

Thank you.

Disney Buys LucasFilm For $4billion

"Well there WAS this one time, at band camp..."

30 Years Ago

30 years ago I saw a movie for the first time in my life. I was 6 years old at the time when my parents chose to introduce me to this medium, and the experience of cinema magic changed my life forever.

It was the year 1982.

I have loved movies ever since BECAUSE of that film, and it probably was the reason I chose to become a filmmaker, if I am honest with myself.

That film remains my most favourite movie of all time, still to this day. I wholeheartedly believe it's a lesson in visual and narrative storytelling. Each time I watch it I marvel at its passion, its emotional impact and simplicity of form that all deeply affect me, like I'm watching it for the first time.

Tonight, 30 years later, I got to see it on the big cinema screen again for the second time, on its celebratory 1-day re-release in honour of its transition to BluRay.

Tonight, again, I got all of the goosebumps and the smiles and the giggles and the tears I got the first time I saw it, back when I was 6.

You gotta love that.

I have waited 30 years for this moment, so if that's not true love, I don't know what is.

Welcome back, E.T., though for me you have always been

...right here...

dinner - a short film

Who's hungry?

dinner

Now

Those who have never taken a risk in their life,
those who have never travelled,
those afraid to try new things,
to put themselves out there,
the ones who hesitate
and the ones who turn away from "danger",

are the ones who see their life slip through their own fingers.

I cannot change the past, and regretting it is pointless.
The future is unknown and trying to predict it is insane.

People usually live in the past, or try to live in the future.
That's crazy.

I live neither in the past nor the future.

The choices I make
right here
right now
affect my life for the next hour
the next day, the following week
if that.

Now.

That's the only thing I can control.
Now is all that I have, all that I hope to see.
Now is when my life is happening, not tomorrow, or yesterday.
Now I am alive and I don't know how long I have left.

Could be an hour, a day or a week.

Now
is a choice and a decision and an action and a path.

Now
is all we have.

We are NON-LINEAR beings.
Time is not a circle for this shape and form.
That's to come. That's to follow.
In this shape and form, we are something else entirely.
We are instantaneous beings.

We exist in the

NOW.

But Here's My Number...

...so call me, maybe...?

The Good:


The Bad: 




The Ugly:




...and the Presidential: 

A Crash Course in Creativity - Tina Seelig - TEDxStanford

London Times Obituary

"Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
(don't spend more than you can earn)

and reliable strategies
(adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;

- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone."

2012 Opening Ceremony of the 30th Olympiad in London

I smiled a lot during the 3.5 hours of the show. Having been inside the Olympic Stadium in Athens, as a Greek volunteer for the Olympic Opening & Closing Ceremonies in 2004, and having lived and studied in the UK for 5 years, it gives me a uniquely objective perspective (in my humble opinion) to recognize human passion.

Maybe the London show wasn't the tightest televisual creation, or the best choreographed show, or the most magnificent spectacle (it's rather hard to match the awesomeness of Beijing, the emotional depth of Athens, the beauty of Barcelona and the touching sensitivity of Moscow, as they are my all-time favourite ones); London's ceremony however was humorous, passionate, generous and innocent like the British people (my friends) I have met and come to love over the years.

Britons in all their faults (nobody's perfect) have genuinely touched the world in more ways than one and offered so much to culture and the Earth's civilisation (as well as have taken from it in sinister ways), so with this ceremony, one can't help but be reminded that there is no perfection in human nature or utmost accomplishment, rather there exists only a passionate intention that is all that matters in the end.

And last but not least, beyond the always-moving Olympic Hymn, the emotional & amazing torch protocol it is the parade of Nations more than anything else that is usually my favourite part of any ceremony. It's the people who struggled, sacrificed, trained hard and gave up so much to get to the Olympics, the athletes themselves that are the highlight of each show.

Their excitement, childlike joy (a lot of them are children), their happy faces and endless energy as they enter the stadium is what gives me the biggest smiles. Those demigods of sport are so humble, that even when the crowd cheers them in the stadium and all around the world, they are STILL taking photos of the audience, thrilled to be there and not believing all this hoopla is about them. This is about them and they are having the most fun!

You gotta love it, with every fibre of your body.

I know I do.

Perfection

One of the greatest steps in my evolutionary progress (& process) has been the realization that I am indeed NOT the centre of the universe (yeah, I know... Imagine that!).

This has reminded me many a time to check myself. In fact, I check myself almost every time I get the urge to speak highly of my person, self-congratulate my achievements, re-confirm my earlier predictions of the future as a wise post-event sooth-Sayer, or generally attempt to position myself in the centre of attention, even when the issue at hand was NEVER about me in the first place.  Alas! The checking comes almost always AFTER the fact.

Now, I DO understand that human beings have an urgent & permanent survival tendency to do EXACTLY that, and it IS a constant struggle (much like my daily war against JUDGEMENT) so I try not to beat myself down for forgetting to check myself BEFORE I sound like a complete douche-bag.

Which basically means I often fail to resist that same urge (despite my multiple esoteric-alarm warnings), and I sadly succumb to the vanity fault of blowing my own trumpet. Or I simply tend to believe I am always right (which I am, but that is neither here, nor there).

These silent (or occasionally loud) delusions of grandeur are thankfully tempered with the help of an acute after-sense of how ridiculous I sound/become, and so all my subsequent conscious attempts at self-deprecating humour, utter silliness & self-sarcasm (completely making fun of myself AND being able to take it from others), is my only redeeming quality. I can only hope my “Douche:Silly” ratio can dramatically change over time in favour of silliness and not the opposite. One can dream, non?

Having said that, I find it highly amusing whenever I see people around me being utterly oblivious to the same thing happening to them, and I’m often surprised at the extent of their self-gloating that tends to increase over time, rather than the opposite. Can people BE more blissfully ignorant? *said in my best Chandler Bing accent*


These people, having once started describing how magnificent they are, will NEVER stop offering more and more details about their supernatural perfection or their magical ability to predict, persevere, overcome and “win” against all odds & IN THE FACE of the entire universe (dead set against them, naturally). Doesn't matter if you have asked them about it or not. They will often volunteer example-after-example of their “battles” against mediocrity or other humans’ stupidity, which are only in fact mere ideological battles on principle, against anyone else who even tries to have an opinion opposite to their own. How DARE we not realize they are the keepers of universal wisdom?!

They are the same people who –being filled themselves with endless negative energy towards everyone else - refuse to register their own volatility & hostility in judging everyone else, and indeed carry on congratulating themselves for being so fucking awesome, and manage to sound patronizing even while merely breathing. Quite a feat, I must say.

The only time they barely start moderating their self-proclaimed divinity is when my eyes begin to glaze over and silence starts to creep into my voice.  What’s the point of being amazing, if your audience exits the show, right?

I TRY not to judge, and certainly never attempt to enlighten them. It’s pointless and hopeless. Let it be, I say. Let THEM be. And may everyone else let ME be too. We are all on our own path and we all have our own demons to fight.

I’m certainly not perfect myself (as this text hopefully demonstrates..), so I claim no ability or compulsion to change anyone else when I repeatedly fail at improving myself.  I am not here to live up to anyone else’s standards or expectations and I remind myself constantly that no-one else is here on this earth to live up to mine.

Thank God for that.

That is, assuming I can thank Myself without running the risk of sounding Self-congratulatory.

Ahem.

Green Card Lottery 2013

So what if Green Card Lottery wasn't fruitful for me this year?

It only just means that my life will have to take me down a different path.

A path other than gambling :-)

♥