Wednesday, 19 June 2013

The Friend Vanishes

There are people in our lives who vanish as soon as they enter a relationship. Not talking about those who spend a considerable amount of time, and even make you a part of their new lifestyle with the new partner, I am talking about those who simply disappear from your life, without a warning.

Everything (for that 1st group) becomes "my boyfriend this, my girlfriend that" and they remember you only when they fight or separate with their partners. It doesn't matter if they've met these people a month or two ago and you've been their close friends for years, they will STILL give priority to this new fling, regardless of the potential or hope for something long term or lack thereof.

I have no problem with the second category, those who invite their partners into their life (that means including their friends) and their friends themselves into the new partner-lifestyle. I enjoy their happiness, I cheer them on, I participate in their joy, and gladly stand by them in times of woe, if that happens. I can connect with their boyfriend or girlfriend and consider them too as friends in the making. Such a pleasure to do so, effortlessly and without second thought.

It's the 1st category of people I have no more tolerance for. The "disappearing" ones. The ones who decide to be your friend ONLY when it suits them, only when their partner is away on business or simply unavailable. The ones who lose themselves in the process of "trying out a new love", and manage to lose their friends while doing so. I can no longer stomach those who prioritize a recent love interest over an old friendship and those who treat me as a shoulder to cry on, but never a shoulder to be happy on. That group of people, those particular energy-vultures are weeded out pretty fast these days, and are no longer a significant part of my life. And that makes me a lot happier and calmer.